Kidstyle

It has gotten competitive out there. As a child, Mommy’s parents kitted her out with the itchy synthetic line at K-Mart. Now it’s a pressure test to knock off whatever the Beckham brood are wearing in US magazine’s “Celebrity Kids: They’re Just Like How You Should Dress Your Kids To Fulfill Your Own Faded Dreams!” The challenge is to copy the Burberry fall line with pieces from Old Navy’s flash sale. Luckily, Old Navy is always having a flash sale, according to the 14 emails a day she gets from them. Newsboy hat, skinny jeans, ironic tee, denim jacket, knock off Ray Bans and a pair of mini Converse from Target later, you look nothing like a 3-year-old and everything like how she wishes Daddy would dress. Mommy Instagrams a smiley shot of you eating Cheerios and hashtags it #RichKidsOfInstagram because she doesn’t understand the internet. Then she drops you off for photo day at school, convinced the $40 package that includes a fridge magnet will be worth it. Then you come home without your newsboy hat. Or sunglasses. And you’re wearing another kid’s Ninja Turtle shirt. Mabel’s Labels should come with cubby insurance.

DRINK: The Pop Some Hashtags. 2 oz gin, 3 dashes of orange bitters, 2 dashes grenadine, 1 egg white. Shake over ice and strain. Gin and egg whites are both so hot right now, so if your kid can’t dress like Alonso Mateo (google this preschooler), at least your cocktail can be. #nailedit