Tag Archives: parenting christmas

Ten reasons parents may need to spike their eggnog. Right now.

17 Dec

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  1. Advent calendars. The kids opened and ate all 25 days in one sitting and are now higher than that time you experimented in college.
  2. Scheduling.  AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (sobs as iPhone call display shows 48 missed calls from the In Laws.)
  3. Gifts. Too many have been purchased that involve assembly, batteries or a computer science degree.
  4. Flu season. The kids vacillate between a hacking cough, a ropey nose and a low-grade fever. Or all three if it’s between the hours of 9pm and 9am.
  5. Shopping. While dragging kids around with you. This. Is. Pure. Hell.
  6. Decorations. Can’t find any from last year. Forced to buy them again at full price, only to find them when you pack away this year’s decors.
  7. Baking. Failed attempts to re-create even the simplest recipes from Pinterest have resulted into two grease fires and one suspected case of salmonella.
  8. Daddy. His office is open during the holidays (suspect), leaving you to run Operation Stir Crazy Kids solo.
  9. Snow. A white Christmas is pretty in songs, but this last dump of the stuff threw your back out, along with the furnace.
  10. The Visa Bill. You’re seeing red and all out of green.

DRINK: Eggnog. Book a babysitter, brave the snow, hit a holiday party and enjoy a glass of festive cheer. By “festive cheer” this of course means “add rum”.

BUY: The ultimate stocking stuffer, Reasons Mommy Drinks. “I bought 8 copies for all the other reindeer!”-Rudolph

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