Tag Archives: Sesame Street live

Dora The Explorer: Live

3 Dec

Dora, Beer Me.

Three weeks ago:

DADDY: I got us “Dora the Explorer: Live” tickets.

MOMMY: Cute! Memories for a lifetime!

DADDY: With the upgraded “meet Dora backstage” passes!

MOMMY: This will be so fun!

During the concert:

DADDY: Good thing we paid extra for backstage passes. So many lines! And screaming! And airborne illnesses! Yay!

MOMMY: Our child knows all the words to these songs. He watches too much TV. We are terrible parents.

DADDY: The venue parking alone cost more than we put in his RESP this month.

MOMMY: Is apple juice and half a churro a balanced dinner…?

DADDY: Oh good. It’s over. OHMYGODIT’SONLYINTERMISSION.

MOMMY: I’m so tired. I might die of tired. Please play an acoustic version of “I’m the map” at my funeral. What time is it? Like 4am?

DADDY: It’s 6:45pm.

MOMMY: Let’s never do this again.

The next day:

DADDY: Sesame Street Live is coming next month.

MOMMY: Cute! Let’s do it.

DRINK:   The School of Rock. Remember your pre-kid concert days and pour a warm domestic beer into a red Solo cup. Turn up the Weezer and sing along with these parental advisory lyrics: “If you want to destroy my sweater / draw on it with permanent marker / puke organic cranberry juice on it / leave your crayons in the dryer / pull this thread and just walk away…”

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